September 10, 2004

The Manliest Tool

Embarking on a single-handed garage renovation project, I had only destruction on my mind last weekend. So off I go to the home depot for this bad boy:


Why is this the manliest tool? Because it's basically a bare blade (up to 6 inches of thumb-severing, thigh-slashing, live-wire cutting surface area) jiggering up and down at your whim. When you're using this thing you never sense resistance, there's no "Honey, do you really think you should be doing that without help?", very little in the way of fore-brain activity at all. Instead, you feel empowered, encouraged to go the extra mile--hell you've got the thing out, you've got the metal cutting blade in, why not keep going?

Old galvanized sprinkler pipes laying around? Cut 'em up and make it the trash guy's problem. Need to answer the age-old question: How do you throw out a trash can? (Think about it.) Just cut it up (did that, too).

How about a window in that wall? Just start cutting, baby and stop when there's enough daylight.

Every once in awhile the blade will catch and you will have enough time to consider what might happen if the metal snaps and flies at you (since you're too damn tough for safety goggles, aren't you?). My advice to you? Just squeeze harder on that trigger and soldier on.

Posted by krudman at September 10, 2004 09:11 AM
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